Matt Placed 17th in the 2007 Iron Butt Rally

It’s 11:42 p.m. and a lot has happened today. Riders meeting at 2:30 p.m., banquet at 5:00 p.m., handed our packets at about 6:30 p.m……..and I’ve been crunching routes with Doug since then. 5 hours worth and we have a plan.

We’re going to Canada! Perce Quebec….and I totally butchered French by leaving off various accents. It’s #10 below and worth 33,000 points! It’s the meat of this leg worth half of the leg’s points for us. We have a critical bonus to get (#7) Hopewell Rocks worth 6,012 points, but it relies on us getting to that point when the tide is out.  Getting to this one really sets the tone for Doug and I on this leg.

If we execute this route we’ll be at 66914 points for the leg with this plan…..midway between the guidelines of Bronze and Silver. We’re aware it’s not Gold, but this route is an area of the country we have never been and we’re trying to be conservative and arrive at the first checkpoint with reserves to spare.  Also, we want to ride it for the fun of it.  Strategically, we’re cautiously optimistic that the second leg of the rally will be west coast biased (not one single bonus on this leg is west of Kansas City), leg #2 will be worth more points, and be our back yard.

Watch us on the Star Trax and if we make #7 by no later than 2 or 3 p.m. Tuesday (Atlantic Time)….we’ll be sitting pretty to change the route up after that point.  If it doesn’t look good we may have to change strategies.  The swing could be 10,000 or 20,000 points in this calculation.

Hopefully, earlier than that we’ll have a pretty good clue at about #3 if we’re ahead of our projected pace (which is good), at our pace (which means we have to push ourselves and stress), or behind pace (in which we go to Plan B….#10).

I can only imagine what Owen or some of the other top dogs are doing. Assuming they’re looking at the same route area…they’re trying to squeeze in some stuff around Halifax, coordinating ferries, and probably pulling their hair out how to plan to 5 minute schedules 3 days in advance.  Tough stuff!

Oh, and the theme seems to be around “Americana”…or maybe more accurately “Northamericana”.

I’m going to bed. Up at 7 a.m. to pack and then rider’s meeting at 8:30.

The Buffet Plant for Leg #1 - 66914 Point

#2 St. Louis Arch - 3565

#3 Hoagy Carmichael (IBA Mile Eater Mural), Moundsville, WV- 5099

#6 Reynolds Powersports (Perennial IBR Bonus/Checkpoint), Buxton, Maine - 5300

#7 Hopewell Rocks (Flowerpots with 18 foot tidal changes), Hopewell, New Brunswick - 6012

#8 Green Gables National Historic Site, Cavendish, Prince Edward Island - 8014

#9 Giant Salmon, Cambellton, NB 3014

#10 Perce Rock (more tidal stuff), Perce, Quebec - 33,000

#11 Skylon Tower, Niagara Falls, Ontario - 2910

I find myself a little bit snippy and abrubt today.  Milling people in the parking lot that wouldn’t have bothered me two days ago are like unpredictable cones I have to slalom to go gas my bike up.  As I repack or tie wrap I get a comment from a person that I shouldn’t be working on my bike before an event I wanna flick them in the ear.

 ….gotta go easy for the next 20 hours….gotta pay attention at a meeting and get some sleep.

To lighten things up a bit Austin asked to borrow my Screaming Meanie (actually a Beacon for those in-the-know), but same effect.  It’s an alarm clock that will wake the dead and get you kicked out of a hotel.  Using the same standards as motorcycle exhausts he measured the decibel output and found 111 decibels.  The exhaust standard is 105 or less…..so these things are honking loud!

Then Dick Fish wandered by and Warchild got to tell him his exhausts are louder than Meanies….to which he grumbled something imcomprehensible…… but we’re not sure he could hear us anyway with his hearing affected by the loud exhausts.

As I said…things are getting a little tense.

However, on the light-hearted side of things we have a new winner for the most farkled rig.  Rob Nye trailers in his bike and I swear there’s a wind anemometer on the back of the thing like something you’d find on the Weather Channel.  I wonder why anybody short of an airline pilot would know knots indicated airspeed, but find out it’s a few other things.  This thing is just insanely gadgeted out!

More odds and ends.  I got a little Monkey Butt coming down due to the moist heat and hoping to air out the nether region a bit.  The beads from Autozone are a bit big so I had to do a little surgery.  One thing I learned is that the brown beads roll across the floor and you’re guaranteed to find them at 2 a.m. in your bare feet when you go to pee.

And I’ve been remiss in….like photos of the bikes…so your gratuitous shots of the bike scene:

Riders’ meeting in 60 minutes….so I better get back to work stressing.

They’ve set up a live webcam of the back lobby where riders are walking by from the parking lot to their rooms.

Clicky here for enlightenment…or refresh this page with F5 and see it here.

This link is a gallery of the last 20 pictures.

Tip of the beanie to Joe Denton!

Besides registration today is where I’m spending time fixing, adjusting, and tweaking things.  Take vitamins from big bottle and put in smaller bottle, repack the toolkit to make sure I’m bringing the correct and minimum amount of tools, etc.

One big project remains seeing if I can boost the CB transmit range any.  Joe Denton gave me a couple of ideas I’ll try with Doug this afternoon.

One project was to figure out how to velcro my wallet to my body.  Not actually…but figuratively.  See what $3.75 from Wal-Mart can do for your standard wallet.

I’d love to have the nuggets of wisdom in front of me, but it just didn’t work coming down here and I’m abandoning for the ride….except maybe one or two I’ll move to the windshield or something.

And the official IBR ‘07 poster was displayed this morning.  Hugely symbolic one can expect that objects pictured are bonus locations around the country.  There’s a them here….is it Americana…..tourist places…..something else?

11:42 CDT

I got up at 7:30 this morning knowing that Technical Inspection was going to open earlier than planned at 8 a.m.  Being there at 7:40 afforded me the opportunity to be about the fifth in line and get done with things before they got hot.  Warchild had a bullhorn, a wry smile, and was entertaining the crowd with his “tough love” methodology.

Austin was out with his decibel meter measuring after-market exhaust systems and stress-puppy Greg was pleasantly surpirsed to find 95 decibels when 105 is the limit.

After easing through Tech. Inspection with volunteer, Bob Broeking (’03 Butt and fellow ‘05 Tech Inspector), I was given an orange dot on my paperwork.  That meant I got to go in, get my packet, and sit/stand in various other lines for 3 hours.  I felt very much like a character in Dr’s Seuss’ Sneetch Star-On Machine.

Finally, sitting around in a smallish room with nice chairs I was asked into the “Board Room” where Evil Lord Kneebone sat like Donald Trump….except with a much more sensible haircut.  I got a form initial from Ed Otto…insurance expert and ‘95 IBR Honda Helix scooter finisher.  Then I got an initial from lawn gnome lookalike, Dave McQweeney.

Breezing through these two stations of the inner sanctum I got an excessively uneasy feeling as I planted myself in my third, and apparently final seat, between Mike and Bob Higdon.   I’m not usually one rattled by reputations, but the fact that Mike was entering my name and data into some special program freaked me out a little.  I couldn’t tell from my angle, but it wasn’t some Excel spreadsheet he had doctored up, but something custom for this rally.

I started to light-headed.  By objective measure I was about to officially make it “in” the IBR, but sitting between these two guys I started to feel nauseous.  It’s like Bob and Mike’s chi, shakras, and vortices are strangelty dissonant.  It doesn’t affect them, but I suddenly felt like a lab rat for the military’s experimental puke ray.

…..then the spell was broken by Mike turning to me, beaming a smile, offering a hand and saying, “You’re in!”

I shook his hand and realized three words with only seven letters made me one huge step closer to starting the IBR.

I feel like Dorothy just landing in Oz.

23:53 CDT

Last night I remembered how’d I’d been monitoring regularly when The Iron Butt Rally Website got a 2007 entry. It did a couple of weeks ago, but I just realized I hadn’t checked in 4 or 5 days. So when I visited I found out all sort of useful and interesting information.

First and foremost was the question who would try and fill the big shoes of long-time scribe, Bob Higdon. With the first official IBR dispatch it seems the task has been taken up by Tom Austin (the guy I mentioned in an earlier post and know well from being denied 7,000 points for not having 4 limbs in 4 states last year). Tom is a technical guy and although his style will be different I’m sure…..I think you all are going to get a thorough play-by-play of this rally.

Other good stuff in there that Tom has set up a phone message system for us to call in and give updates and relay stories. A very-engineer-oriented solution. Kudos Tom for utilizing a piece of technology to learn and share information to the smallish audience of folks watching us wander North America!

You’d think being here at the hotel in St. Louis that I’d already know all about this, but the first I’ve heard of this is by reading the website. Tom is probably only 100 feet away from me in some room, but information dissemination occurs more quickly on the Internet.

It boggles the mind…..and more importantly reading through Tom’s sobering first post……I’m in it deep!

I’m getting up at 7:30 in the morning. Tech. inspection opens at 8:00 a.m. and I know they’re gunning to get me. They’re going to find something I’m sure…..and I’m going to stress.

That’s OK. It’s pre-ordained. Like a good thriller movie I paid good money to be scared by Warchild, Austin, Landry, and others….and they’re undoubtedly going to give me my money’s worth.

All I can say is, “Bring it on.” I’m about as ready as I can really be….except for rerouting a couple wires on my audio system and snapping a grommet through my wallet…which I’ll talk about tomorrow. I may have to go park in a corner of the parking lot to hide.

Regardless, I’m ready for the challenge. Tomorrow it gets interesting.

12:46 CDT

Just arrived at the hotel and sitting in the lobby with Doug. Classical music is playing over the speakers, the furniture is tastefully appointed,…….and there’s a dude with a doo rag and dingy Aerostich checking in.

…..now, that’s classy.

Warchild just strolled in and planted his butt on the marble coffee table in front of me.

…..more class.

We’re headed off to lunch at a sitdown joint with cloth napkins….wearing our shorts and motorcycle boots of course.

…..heaping mounds of class. It’s going to be a fun weekend.

14:32 CDT

Games are already a foot. Tom Austin came up and shook my hand in the lobby. Exchanging pleasantries I shared that I had never been to this area of the country he asked me what I thought about the place. So, I gave him my line from yesterday, “The nice thing about St. Louis is that on Monday I’ll be able to point my bike away from this hell hole of a sauna.”

He replied in deadpan, “How do you know you’re leaving St. Louis? Maybe the first bonus is to do a Saddle Sore around the beltway.”

….I gave him a pained, quizzed, intrigued, and angry look all at the same time.

Tom is, of course, the brutally strict yet consistently fair scorer that dinged me for not having all four limbs in the proper quadrants in the SPANK Rally last year.

So, I find myself chanting, “Austin will not get in my head….Austin will not get in my head……Austin will not get in my head!”

18:10 CDT

Folks are mingling in the bar…with a few drinking here and there, but it’s pretty sober and safe. Dinner is soon. It’s cool to see the regular cast of characters….Warchild, Higdon, McSweeny, Torters, Rebecca V., Van Santens, etc.

Got back from Wal-Mart to pick up a couple of things I had forgotten. My CB worked pretty well. I can only transmit about 1/4 mile or so……maybe I can improve that with a ground or something.

If Matt doesn’t mind I’ll post my limited view of this rally in comments, probably much less frequently than Matt will do updates.

At any rate…Linda and I drove a BBG1500 in my truck from Stayton, OR to Lincoln, NE from Tuesday to Wednesday night. 1680 miles in 22.75 hours. I figured my bike has taken me on several 1500 mile rides in 24 hours, time for me to take the bike for a 1500 mile ride.

Today we left Lincoln at a leisurely 9:30am and pulled in here at the Chesterfield at about 3:00pm. Bob St. George helped me unload the FJR and later I spotted while Jim Owens unloaded his beemer. Got the desktop setup for Linda and the new wireless card installed here in the room.

Had a little incident about forty miles out as a tanker in the slow lane next to us locked up all his brakes and took out a good portion of the guardrail by running right over the top of it as he threw bits of metal everywhere before getting stopped on the shoulder. I heard on the CB a few minutes later something about dialing a cell phone. Ya never knows…

Found a great steak house for dinner and replaced the small digital camera that was stolen when my house was burgled a couple weeks ago - but that’s a whole ‘nother story.

Tomorrow I’ll ride around a bit and get the lay of the land since we will be back here at least two more times for the checkpoint and finish. Need to bed in some new back brakes as well. Also need to find a dealer and get a tire mounted tomorrow and reattach my electronic gear.

21:39 CDT, Bonne Terre, Missouri

We rolled out at 5:00 a.m. from Oga-la-lee-loo and made it four hole miles before it started to rain. I thought it was going to be a good idea to put on my dark visor and tough out the hour or so until sunrise.

Wrong choice. Rookie mistake. I still toughed it out….cautiously.

What can I say about Nebraska? For the lack in elevation changes they more than make up for with flatness.

We did have two surreal experiences today….or at least the monotony of the “drone” was relieved by first seeing a tourist site as we entered Nebraska. Perhaps impressive as the Great Platte River Road Arch covering I-80 is the reason why one would have possibly built it. Admittedly, I didn’t take a tour, but at freeway speed one puzzles on this point…for at least 50 miles…..which was a pleasant distraction. Well done Nebraska!

Once we rolled into Lincoln the humidity started to climb and the sky started opening up in earnest. Not hot yet as we’ve heard reports of 102 in St. Louis, but we stopped for gas and my one picture from the ride.

After we had left the humid and wet….but still cool Lincoln area this horrible thing happened. The rain stopped and the sun came out. This made it unbearably hot and humid. 101 degrees worth. And running point I wasn’t a cooked puppy like folks back home would know from staying out all day at boat races. I felt like a hot dog left in the tub of simmering water…..neglected and very, very moist.

…anyway…it was frickin’ hot and the air felt heavy….OK? I’m supposed to be an Iron Butt rider, but I was whining in my flip-face helmet and a wimp. So, I tried to put a postive sping on things……….

The nice thing about the IBR starting in Missouri is that we’re going to immediately aim our bikes away from this sauna hell hole!

The second surreal experience happened in Blue Springs, Missouri. I chose it because it was slightly over half way from Lincoln and made the last leg slightly shorter….purely a mental thing that Lisa and Paul totally got!

Loading up on Gatorade this FJR rides up and it’s this dude from the FJR forum…..eeksnake! And we had seen him in Park City three weeks earlier. Weird cosmic coincidence….or he’s stalking us……. We exchanged pleasantries and he headed west back home to Vegas as we went deeper into the belly of the steamy beast.

We rolled into Bonne Terre about 5 p.m. and Bronce Smith’s home for a tire and oil change. He’s another member of the FJRForum and volunteered his shop to help us. We had sent off tires to his house weeks earlier, he arranged oil, had the fridge stocked with soda and water…and was the coolest host in the world!

To go over the top he arranged for a local auto parts store (B&D Auto Parts in Bonne Terre) to donate 6 gallons of Shell Rotella oil for free! My first and only sponsorship in this event. Thanks B&D!

And he has a nice shop with tire changer and lift. In fact, I got to break something in the first 30 minutes I was there. See anything wrong with this picture?

So, I apologized profusely, he was the ultimate host by blowing it off, and I signed my faux pas with a Sharpie.

We ordered pizza and spent the next few hours munching slices, changing tires, oil, and shooting the breeze in the humid evening. Also there were another FJRForum member, Bronce’s brother, and a Beemer guy. The cicadas were doing their 13 years dance and I defintely feel like I’m not in Kansas….or Washington anymore.

A picture of me sporting my official IBR haircut…..courtesy of a #2 clipper. Sweat is courtesy of the 427% humidity.

I also rethinked my notion of having him install a cruise control and instead took off one of my throttle springs. It was a good compromise as it just lightens up the throttle tension enough to let my Vista Cruise work without slipping. This will pay dividends after about day 5 when my right hand wants to seize up.

Greg is due in about 15 minutes having come from Arizona. And in the morning is a leisurley breakfast next door and migrate up to the Chesterfield Doubletree to unpack, relax, tire kick…….and get ready for the game that will start Saturday morning at 10 a.m. with tech. inspection.

UPDATE 23:00

Greg rolled in and looks unusually fresh. He should look more wiped out after his ride. Hmmmmmm.

UPDATE 00:15

Paul, Greg, and myself are like school girls, amped up, and getting no sleep. Greg is retelling his story about his cell phone scittering down I-something or other as it fell off the bike, jammed the brakes, and running back down the freeway to pick things up as he feared a semi would run the phone over just before he got there. He’s talking on the cell now to his girlfriend….with scratches and chunks missing. The battery sits precarioulsy askew. ….something clearly to occupy his Friday to fix.

Paul is lamenting our poor meal habits today and announces, “Is that Waffle House 24 hours….I’m hungry.” He just wandered off.

It’s like a high school sleepover….except that we have money to buy expensive bikes and hotel rooms for 3 weeks….just to ride around North America taking Polaroids of things.

We’re clearly nuts.

UPDATE TO THE UPDATE 12:30

Paul is back and I thought he got aced out with a closed Huddle House….except that he says, “All I had today was a Hostess frickin’ fruit pie. They gave me eggs, hashbrowns, bacon, and white toast…..I was outta there in 15 minutes….. I’m an LD Rider!”

….we’re going to try and sleep now. I’ll spare you the sleeping arrangements since Skooter got here. Suffice it to say two of us are gay.

UPDATE A DAY LATER

While we were finally about to drift off asleep Paul mentions that he runs Rotella oil in his Jetta. It hits me that three FJR owners all happen to be Volkwagen owners sleeping together. It’s confirmed….all three of us are gay! We finally drift off spouting stories of how many MPG we got. Not only are we all gay…..we’re all nerds.

Wednesday, 06:25 MDT,Exit 53, Boise

We’re to leave in 5 minutes. Covers off, complimentary breakfast inhaled, and sun is rising.

I-80 here we come!

21:13 CDT, Ogalllllllaaaalllllalaalla, NE

No clue how to spell it. Suffice it to say it’s in the flat part of Nebraska and there are no signficicant landmarks visible. We’re 720 miles from Bonne Terre and calling it a night. Just rolled into another Super 8 with free wireless after having a Freschetta and salad at Wendy’s. Talked to Greg M. on the phone and he’s in New Mexico with plans of rolling into Bonne Terre late tomorrow.

More to follow in a half hour, but I GOTTA take a shower and drop the kids off at the pool! (Warning: things will undoubtedly get less subtle and more graphic as the next 2 weeks wears on)

21:35 CDT, Freshly showered….now to blog

The day was a “drone” as Tobie put it and other than some miltary convoy on I-80 replete with two helicopters doing orbits and Humvees with automatic weapons on their roofs…it was fairly uneventful. Just one picture for the day, but this gas stop on Morgan, UT summed up about 1/3 of our daily interaction as a group.

Also, think I may have figured out my Starcom and cell phone. Headset unplugged, plug in phone, then plug in headset. It’s a working theory although I’ll need to try a longer cable. Today I also got to realize I hadn’t thought out several recent farkle add-ons. Broke the rules I did….hopefully I can fix them up Friday through Sunday.

I hadn’t been between Cheyenne and Lincoln before….and I gotta say it’s pretty similarly boring as the rest of Wyomong….although there’s more humidity and ton more trees. That and some bugs in the trees that make a huge racket.