One of my Christmas presents to myself was the übercool and extremely functional Skyway Hydration System.

So cool I bought two!

The basic idea is to take a $3.69 Rubbermaid Victory (not a Coleman or Igloo as I painfull learned and own coolers I can’t use) of the 1/2 gallon variety from Target, put it on a powder-coated billet CNC machined alumnium base, wrap it in a custom sewn cordura insulating case, and pipe cool liquid goodness to your drying maw with a spiffy magnetic bite valve from Nalgene. The effect is to increase the cost of the orginal jug by a factor of about 25 to about a hundred bucks……but you look sinisterly cool while splurging.

Skyway is a fellow FJR owner and LD Rider that I had the priveledge of first meeting in a gas station in Tonopah, NV while riding the White Pine Fever event last August.

Well, “meet” is probably an overstatement. I think we made eye contact as we feverishly refilled our Camelbaks with water for another leg in the Nevada high desert. Our mouths were full of god-awful protein bars and the clock was ticking away it’s hours. We didn’t meet properly until about a day later when we ate grub decompressing from the ride.

I’m also not sure this event was the inspiration for his superbly executed sculpture of alloy and velcro, but I wish I had it instead of Cambelbak Uno percarioulsy perched and clipped to the top of my fuel cell. With two years of duty under its belt I had even wrapped it futily in extra layers of foam and duct tape hoping to keep the contents cooler longer. Sadly, the last 40 ounces of the 100 always seemed to be piss warm and required long right-hand sweepers to get down to the last 20 ounces. Suboptimal to be sure.

Ordered in early December I got the goods about two months later and opted for black cordura on a black base. Yeah, I know. Black gets hot, and it looks like I’m caving to the aesthetic gods, but dirt and road grim don’t show badly on black. It’s also a theme I’ve been adopting to deaccentuate the various LD bits of the bike….and also the powder coat color that my friend always has in his machine at the shop.

First order of business was a slight tweak. Either I couldn’t understand the ample instructions Skyway provided, jug strap oragami isn’t my strong suit, or my system occupies a portion of the time-space continuum that friction physics don’t apply. Whenever I tugged on the buckle below…it would come undone. Again, suboptimal.

Using my Jedi mind skills (insert Yoda hand-waving here) foresaw a future conversation yet to happen…I did. Myself and George Zelenz on August 22, 2007, 6:45 p.m. as we stumble across each other wading arm-pit deep high tide in the Pacific Ocean trying to get to the Battery Point Lighthouse.

(begin George Lucas and ILM special effects)

George: “Hey, that hydration kit on you bike looks pretty cool. 1/2 gallon enough for you? ……Damn this water is cold!”
Me: “Yeah, Skyway rocks doesn’t he? I went ahead and got two. I’ve got one full of icewater and the other is Gatorade. I’ve had a full gallon of icy goodness the past 494 miles since Winnemucca! ……we’re over halfway there. Low tide would have been a much better choice.”
George: “Two? I saw only one. Where’s the other? …….yeah, I can feel it shallowing up.”
Me: “What? Where’s the other?……………Oh Phuck! It must be somewhere between here and Winnemucca. ….you know the tide’s going to be higher on the way back.”
George: “That sucks dude! …..we’re across! Let’s go take a picture!”
Me: “It does suck. Maybe I’ll spot it on the ride back to St. Lous. …..By the way, where’s your Polaroid?”‘

(End visual effects sequence)

Fast forward to the present and I combed through my toolbox of goodies and figured I needed to add an $0.11 pop rivet to the equation. What could possibly go wrong? The future cloudy….it is.

All installed my only task is figuring out where to mount the magnetic ends. I’ll probably go under the seat, come out at the tank, and stick them on the tank bag. Again, the magnetic bite valves Skyway speced are just genius and means I get to chuck my janitor key chain retractor. Thanks Ian!!!!